Biscotti


Rintihan Pengemis.

assalamualaikum.

Puas sudahku menyatakan rasaku

Pada dirimu

Resah jiwaku

Namun setiapnya kau terima begitu mudah

Umpama aku sekadar melata sahaja

 

Bukan setahun dua

Kita bina hubungan kita

Ku risau kamu tak berfikir begitu

Kuat di dalam hati

Ku rasa hidup mu memati

Sebahagian dari kasih untukmu dalam diri ini

 

Umpama insan hina

Mengemis kasih tak ke mana

Dengarkanlah rintihan ku segera

 

Langit jadi mendung dan kelabu

Angin bertiup nan sayu

Titis air berlagu

Dedaun lalu gugur disapu

Berat limpahan itu

 

Hujan di jiwaku

 

Mudah tewas perasaanku

Gugur air mataku

Aku bukan begitu

 

Namunku hanya insan biasa

Yang tiada lebih apa

 

Sama di sisiNya.

Today, Abah asked the three of us (minus Sheila since she’s currently sitting for her Final Examination papers in Melaka) to do some sort of a performance each for Mama in conjunction with Mother’s Day today.

However, the interesting catch is that the one that succeeds in moving Mama to tears is considered as the winning performance.

Although I don’t really believe in dedicating one day to celebrate Mother’s Day just to show my appreciation and affection towards Mama (because hey, I love her every single day!) , I’ve decided to just go along with the plan and put my writing skills to test.

After less than two hours, this is what I’ve managed to produce.

assalamualaikum.

 

Allahu maghfirlii wali waalidayya walilmum-iniina yauma yaquumul hisaab.

“Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established.”

(Surah Ibrahim 14:41).

 

Ke hadapan mama yang tersayang,

          Pertama sekali, kakak nak minta maaf pada mama sebab kakak rasa kakak sorang je anak mama yang tak ucap “Selamat Hari Ibu” pada mama. Pada kakak, sambutan “Hari Ibu” tu tak relevan sebab maknanya kakak sayang mama untuk sehari je walhal kakak sayang mama hari-hari. Setiap hari.. kakak tahu selalu jugak mama terasa hati pada kakak sebab kakak tak tunjuk kasih sayang kakak pada mama.. Bukan kakak tak nak tunjuk, tapi kakak tak pandai dan tak mampu.. Ini kelemahan kakak yang selalu kakak cuba baiki.. Maafkan kakak, mama.

          Sedar tak sedar, dah 23 tahun kakak hidup kat atas muka bumi ni. Terima kasih, mama sebab lahirkan kakak 23 tahun yang lalu.. kalau tak, mungkin mama tak dapat dengar sendiri “Luahan Hari Ibu” kakak malam ni.

Mama,

          Terima kasih sebab sanggup berpatah tulang, berputus urat dan bersabung nyawa semata untuk bagi kakak peluang untuk kenal bumi nie. Terima kasih juga sebab mama sanggup dan boleh bagi kasih sayang pada kakak dan adik-adik semua. Kalau diikutkan kakak, mana mungkin kakak mampu nak sayang sesuatu yang menyakitkan dan merugikan diri sendiri? Tapi, atas sebab itulah Allah muliakan mama. Kakak selalu terfikir macam mana nak balas jasa mama.. tapi siapa boleh ganti tulang yang patah, darah yang hilang dan urat yang putus, kan? Sampai mati pun xkan mampu..

          Selain daripada tu, kakak juga nak minta maaf atas segala kesilapan kakak yang lebih banyak disengajakan daripada tak sengaja yang mengguris hati mama dan mungkin menyebabkan mama dipertanggungjawabkan di akhirat kelak. Kakak tahu kakak ni seorang anak yg mengecewakan.. Tapi, itu juga satu lagi kelemahan yang kakak cuba buang.

          Akhir kata, kakak nak mama tahu yang kakak sayang mama sangat-sangat. Tiap-tiap hari.. siang malam kakak menangis rindukan mama bila bergaduh.. Tiap kali gaduh, kakak selalu harap yang Allah tak cabut nyawa kakak ataupun mama sebelum kakak minta maaf sebab kakak tak nak menyesal macam kakak rasa bila Mak Tijah meninggal.

What do you think, eh?

Based on the responses that I get from the audiences, I must say that I’ve done a pretty good job tonight!


Strangers.

assalamualaikum.

Have you ever went to a meet-up with an old friend with the hopes to restrengthen the friendship bond between both of you and looking forward to have a very good time?

But eventually getting slapped in the ass with the reality that both of you could never have the same friendship bond nor feelings that you’ve once had for each other again..

And the worst part is that instead of having enjoyed the hang out, you were sent back home with the feelings of sadness, insecureness, hatred and remorse.

Which is mostly towards yourself.

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Most of you might think that screaming out of joy and excitement is pretty much okay when your friend spills every single detail *really?* of the story of how your now-married friend met, engaged and finally wed her now-husband, right?

Well.. it doesn’t work that way with an old friend of mine as she stays cold and silent whilst manouvering her car into the parking lot.

Some people might even argue with me that its not proper for a 20 year old lady to scream in the public no matter if its out of excitement nor joy.

Yup.. the argument above is pretty much valid except for the fact that I screamed in a car with the windows closed.

There are only the two of us and the old friend is a lady.

*krik krik*

*krik krik*

Is it that wrong to be so excited about something? I mean.. the married friend is pretty much a close friend of mine when we were in Form 5 back then.

To be honest, I’m a bit hurt when I didn’t get to be there when she got married to the man that managed to capture her pure heart. But, still.. she’s my friend. A very dear friend of mine.

So, is it wrong for me to be happy for her? Is it that wrong for me to scream out of happiness and joy inside your car while hearing the story?

Because if it is, I’m really sorry.

I knew that I should’ve cried instead.. its really more ladylike, no?

*

*

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The one thing that I’ve noticed about this old friend of mine is that she didn’t like to talk about her personal life and preferred to keep it under the wraps.

Which is fine by me. I mean.. she’s got her own life and I’ve got mine. So, why should we really bother about other people’s life instead of our own, right?

So what I did out of respect towards her is that I tried not to question anything personal about her. As far as I could remember, the things that I’ve talked to her about is our married friend, her university life and her family.

But somehow I think that she got this idea where I’m supposedly to be a very shallow girl that just can’t get my hands off boys as she casually asked me whether I have a boyfriend or not and how should we girls know if a guy liked us.

Thanks to the flared out lashes and some high heels for the hedonistic look of the day.

Cliched question, I supposed. So, why should I be so blowned up by all of this stuffs, right?

That’s a good one. I brushed off her first question and shrugs that I’m pretty much single and available. But as I playfully teased her about the second one, she became this serious person almost pronto.

If this playful “oh, so you do want to know? Why eh? Got someone on your mind eh?” teasing can be such a serious issue for you, then I’m so sorry that I brought it up.

The intention of me bringing it up was to break the tension and cold atmosphere inside the car.. but I guess the game is wrongly played.

It is commonly said that the best form of flattery is imitation. So, if you mind, could you please not ask me anything personal again the next time we meet up or chat on MSN?

This is because that I am really just like you.

I wish that you could respect my privacy.

Just like how I respected yours.

Thank you very much.

🙂

I’m pretty much sick of this one-sided friendship that you’ve been shoving up my ass offering all this while.

I’m just writing this up just so you know.

because personally.. I don’t like picking out friends that made me cry to sleep.